








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1126 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1257 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1122 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1261 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $450,489 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mokkis | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 52% | 85 |
| #3 | Erkkilae | 51% | 45 |
| #4 | sPo0o | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | Wave | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sPo0o | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | Wave | 46% | 41 |
| #6 | Kaivo | 44% | 75 |
| #7 | FQRREST | 44% | 39 |
| #8 | cArp | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FQRREST | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Kaivo | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | sPo0o | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Erkkilae | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 371 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | sPo0o | 228 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | Kaivo | 184 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mokkis | 111 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Erkkilae | 72 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mokkis | +3.25 | 68 | 76 |
| #2 | FQRREST | +0.78 | 63 | 64 |
| #3 | Wave | +0.09 | 63 | 37 |
| #4 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | +0.09 | 56 | 70 |
| #5 | Kaivo | +0.07 | 48 | 66 |





