








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 436 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3652 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5650 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5547 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4872 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,733,871 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Anderson | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | tukzsu | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | sPo0o | 56% | 78 |
| #4 | Mokkis | 56% | 102 |
| #5 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 55% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Wave | 54% | 48 |
| #7 | Kaivo | 54% | 80 |
| #8 | RacerX | 53% | 60 |
| #9 | cArp | 50% | 323 |
| #10 | tassutas | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cArp | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Mokkis | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Wave | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | sPo0o | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cArp | 907 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #2 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 498 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | sPo0o | 349 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #4 | Mokkis | 292 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | RacerX | 242 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tukzsu | +3.66 | 61 | 72 |
| #2 | Mokkis | +2.41 | 67 | 73 |
| #3 | RacerX | +1.12 | 62 | 74 |
| #4 | FQRREST | +1.05 | 65 | 62 |
| #5 | Mr. Anderson | +0.76 | 69 | 74 |





