








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1774 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1691 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2090 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1894 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $474,588 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sPo0o | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Mokkis | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | FQRREST | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | tassutas | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | FQRREST | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | tassutas | 51% | 45 |
| #6 | Kaivo | 46% | 123 |
| #7 | Wave | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaivo | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | FQRREST | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | tassutas | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Wave | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaivo | 381 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 192 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | tassutas | 136 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | sPo0o | 105 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mokkis | 42 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FQRREST | +3.83 | 69 | 66 |
| #2 | Mokkis | +2.84 | 69 | 68 |
| #3 | Kaivo | +1.35 | 56 | 63 |
| #4 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | +0.72 | 58 | 69 |
| #5 | sPo0o | +0.10 | 61 | 77 |





