








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 290 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1099 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1092 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 894 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $734,021 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 63% | 128 |
| #2 | Mokkis | 62% | 98 |
| #3 | sPo0o | 61% | 109 |
| #4 | Kaivo | 56% | 106 |
| #5 | FQRREST | 54% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | sPo0o | 61% | 109 |
| #4 | Kaivo | 56% | 106 |
| #5 | FQRREST | 54% | 48 |
| #6 | tassutas | 46% | 41 |
| #7 | Erkkilae | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaivo | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Mokkis | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | sPo0o | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | FQRREST | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sPo0o | 510 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 482 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | Kaivo | 319 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Mokkis | 302 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | FQRREST | 103 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mokkis | +2.62 | 65 | 75 |
| #2 | FQRREST | +2.47 | 65 | 62 |
| #3 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | +0.28 | 58 | 68 |
| #4 | Wave | +0.00 | 64 | 43 |
| #5 | sPo0o | -0.51 | 58 | 75 |





