








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 307 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Renown | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2735 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3241 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2932 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3114 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3031 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $965,787 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wave | 63% | 128 |
| #2 | Mokkis | 61% | 173 |
| #3 | sPo0o | 60% | 179 |
| #4 | Kaivo | 58% | 173 |
| #5 | Erkkilae | 57% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kaivo | 58% | 173 |
| #5 | Erkkilae | 57% | 40 |
| #6 | FQRREST | 55% | 121 |
| #7 | tassutas | 52% | 85 |
| #8 | cArp | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FQRREST | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Mokkis | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Kaivo | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Wave | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | sPo0o | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sPo0o | 783 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #2 | Mokkis | 528 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | Kaivo | 454 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | FQRREST | 227 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | tassutas | 192 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mokkis | +2.78 | 66 | 74 |
| #2 | FQRREST | +1.35 | 64 | 61 |
| #3 | Wave | +0.32 | 66 | 42 |
| #4 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | +0.07 | 58 | 67 |
| #5 | sPo0o | -0.62 | 56 | 74 |





