










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,593 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3269 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2032 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1974 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1318 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $630,316 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erkkilae | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Wave | 61% | 109 |
| #3 | Mokkis | 60% | 143 |
| #4 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 60% | 179 |
| #5 | FQRREST | 56% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mokkis | 60% | 143 |
| #4 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 60% | 179 |
| #5 | FQRREST | 56% | 78 |
| #6 | Kaivo | 56% | 151 |
| #7 | tassutas | 50% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaivo | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Mokkis | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | FQRREST | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Wave | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 662 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | Mokkis | 437 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | Kaivo | 418 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | FQRREST | 146 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | tassutas | 135 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mokkis | +2.84 | 65 | 74 |
| #2 | FQRREST | +1.21 | 62 | 62 |
| #3 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | +0.11 | 60 | 69 |
| #4 | Wave | +0.11 | 63 | 43 |
| #5 | sPo0o | -0.74 | 56 | 74 |





