








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4062 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4023 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3806 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3402 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $918,412 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 58% | 173 |
| #2 | sPo0o | 56% | 151 |
| #3 | Mokkis | 56% | 134 |
| #4 | Wave | 56% | 106 |
| #5 | FQRREST | 54% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mokkis | 56% | 134 |
| #4 | Wave | 56% | 106 |
| #5 | FQRREST | 54% | 80 |
| #6 | Erkkilae | 46% | 123 |
| #7 | tassutas | 44% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FQRREST | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Mokkis | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Erkkilae | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Wave | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sPo0o | 652 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #2 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | 651 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #3 | Mokkis | 405 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | Erkkilae | 238 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | tassutas | 206 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mokkis | +2.56 | 66 | 73 |
| #2 | FQRREST | +1.79 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | Kaivo | +0.30 | 49 | 66 |
| #4 | Insinööri-Majuri Lasse Sievine | +0.17 | 60 | 68 |
| #5 | Wave | -0.34 | 64 | 44 |





