








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2208 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,132 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1038 | 25% |
| Smokes | 575 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1509 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1010 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $885,048 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MBektic | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | Orby | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | Rihawn | 49% | 89 |
| #4 | I Am Going To Commit Tax Fraud | 45% | 38 |
| #5 | neo | 44% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Rihawn | 49% | 89 |
| #4 | I Am Going To Commit Tax Fraud | 45% | 38 |
| #5 | neo | 44% | 62 |
| #6 | Stock | 38% | 13 |
| #7 | Drew Peacock | 38% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drew Peacock | 14 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | MBektic | 9 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | Rihawn | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Orby | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | I Am Going To Commit Tax Fraud | 4 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neo | 378 | 0.31 | 11 min |
| #2 | Rihawn | 206 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Drew Peacock | 169 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | I Am Going To Commit Tax Fraud | 62 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | MBektic | 61 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orby | +4.90 | 80 | 69 |
| #2 | Stock | +3.32 | 81 | 41 |
| #3 | I Am Going To Commit Tax Fraud | +1.05 | 78 | 45 |
| #4 | MBektic | +0.93 | 66 | 36 |
| #5 | ez | +0.64 | 87 | 52 |





