








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 542 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 212 matches | ||
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,976 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1330 | 33% |
| Smokes | 803 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 258 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 1585 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,519,376 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 489 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | LemonTheCrackAddict | 50% | 36 |
| #12 | Nugatory | 47% | 95 |
| #13 | Monke | 45% | 44 |
| #14 | ez | 45% | 38 |
| #15 | \_.appa._/ | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MBektic | 42 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Khaotic | 28 | 0.0242 |
| #3 | LemonTheCrackAddict | 13 | 0.0180 |
| #4 | Nugatory | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Rihawn | 8 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neo | 638 | 0.29 | 20 min |
| #2 | MBektic | 301 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #3 | Rihawn | 168 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Monke | 121 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Orby | 107 | 0.07 | 3 min |





