








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 590 | 36% |
| Smokes | 306 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 430 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 330 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,141 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tacko | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Rihawn | 50% | 46 |
| #3 | Orby | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | ez | 38% | 48 |
| #5 | QuiteSenseless | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tacko | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Rihawn | 50% | 46 |
| #3 | Orby | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | ez | 38% | 48 |
| #5 | QuiteSenseless | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tacko | 5 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | ez | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Rihawn | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Orby | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rihawn | 110 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Tacko | 41 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | ez | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Orby | 10 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | QuiteSenseless | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orby | +4.85 | 84 | 66 |
| #2 | Tacko | +3.42 | 98 | 53 |
| #3 | Drew Peacock | +0.03 | 86 | 44 |
| #4 | ez | -0.46 | 85 | 50 |
| #5 | Rihawn | -0.72 | 69 | 54 |





