








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 222 matches | ||
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3277 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2705 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1870 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2138 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $756,478 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | QuiteSenseless | 56% | 41 |
| #7 | Orby | 55% | 95 |
| #8 | neo | 54% | 119 |
| #9 | Drew Peacock | 50% | 46 |
| #10 | ez | 49% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MBektic | 32 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | Drew Peacock | 14 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | Orby | 11 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Stock | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | neo | 6 | 0.0026 |





