








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 471 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1063 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1884 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1981 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1849 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,456,243 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1041 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caado | 68% | 73 |
| #2 | OAF | Zer0^ | 58% | 67 |
| #3 | Spider | 58% | 45 |
| #4 | eXpLoSiVo | 57% | 93 |
| #5 | Kylo | 56% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | 𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣 | 47% | 76 |
| #17 | Cereal_Killer | 47% | 51 |
| #18 | antiprogram | 46% | 65 |
| #19 | Laramie | 43% | 21 |
| #20 | Metta World ☮ | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MashaTriceps | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | MamaSw00b | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | antiprogram | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Cereal_Killer | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | 𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣 | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MashaTriceps | 273 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Jonboy | 229 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Cereal_Killer | 221 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | 𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣 | 215 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Caado | 190 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OAF | Zer0^ | +4.10 | 77 | 68 |
| #2 | DrugStoreINC | +1.55 | 68 | 45 |
| #3 | antiprogram | +1.17 | 58 | 63 |
| #4 | Spider | +1.17 | 62 | 49 |
| #5 | Mike Wasowski | +1.03 | 81 | 26 |





