








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1839 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4496 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 2324 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2600 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,256,600 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 331 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OAF | Zer0^ | 57% | 105 |
| #2 | Jonboy | 56% | 78 |
| #3 | DrugStoreINC | 56% | 117 |
| #4 | Caado | 55% | 89 |
| #5 | Rain | 52% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | eXpLoSiVo | 42% | 81 |
| #18 | Kylo | 41% | 41 |
| #19 | Siggy | 41% | 75 |
| #20 | SAVE ME TOM CRUISE | 39% | 70 |
| #21 | Metta World ☮ | 35% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MashaTriceps | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Caado | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | antiprogram | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Rain | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | DrugStoreINC | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonboy | 314 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | MashaTriceps | 280 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Cereal_Killer | 258 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | 𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣 | 254 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Rain | 247 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OAF | Zer0^ | +3.62 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | Mike Wasowski | +1.69 | 79 | 26 |
| #3 | DrugStoreINC | +1.56 | 67 | 47 |
| #4 | Caado | +1.02 | 58 | 63 |
| #5 | Spider | +0.99 | 63 | 47 |





