










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 614 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2956 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1994 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2667 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5222 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,176 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrugStoreINC | 57% | 93 |
| #2 | Spider | 56% | 90 |
| #3 | anyways | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | 𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣 | 53% | 73 |
| #5 | Metta World ☮ | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike Wasowski | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | MashaTriceps | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Spider | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Rain | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | antiprogram | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonboy | 470 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | MashaTriceps | 355 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Cereal_Killer | 291 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | 𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣 | 277 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | Caado | 264 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OAF | Zer0^ | +3.89 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | Mike Wasowski | +2.87 | 81 | 27 |
| #3 | DrugStoreINC | +2.76 | 73 | 48 |
| #4 | Spider | +2.13 | 65 | 45 |
| #5 | antiprogram | +1.77 | 60 | 57 |





