








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 887 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 631 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14118 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8173 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 13209 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 7557 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,813,817 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1934 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Jonboy | 46% | 247 |
| #15 | antiprogram | 45% | 275 |
| #16 | SAVE ME TOM CRUISE | 45% | 130 |
| #17 | Metta World ☮ | 44% | 95 |
| #18 | Laramie | 43% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cereal_Killer | 22 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Spider | 17 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Caado | 16 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Rain | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | anyways | 10 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cereal_Killer | 1256 | 0.20 | 30 min |
| #2 | Caado | 1056 | 0.13 | 27 min |
| #3 | Jonboy | 871 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #4 | MamaSw00b | 718 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #5 | antiprogram | 620 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OAF | Zer0^ | +4.53 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | Mike Wasowski | +2.94 | 82 | 29 |
| #3 | DrugStoreINC | +2.14 | 69 | 46 |
| #4 | 𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣 | +1.94 | 67 | 78 |
| #5 | anyways | +1.64 | 55 | 56 |





