








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2745 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3113 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1712 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2204 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $815,244 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | 67% | 52 |
| #2 | Sachburger | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Ang | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | Mo2 | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | jord | 51% | 305 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | KohZe | 46% | 39 |
| #9 | Zfunk | 44% | 108 |
| #10 | lenticular | 44% | 50 |
| #11 | nink | 35% | 37 |
| #12 | Jbubz | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jord | 24 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Jimmy D Fried | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | lenticular | 10 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | Zfunk | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Ang | 6 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jord | 1118 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #2 | Jimmy D Fried | 747 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #3 | Zfunk | 353 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | 166 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | tyo | 127 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | +5.59 | 84 | 66 |
| #2 | Sachburger | +3.10 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Mo2 | +2.22 | 93 | 41 |
| #4 | lenticular | +2.01 | 67 | 33 |
| #5 | KohZe | +1.65 | 73 | 56 |





