








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2085 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1882 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1245 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 829 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $652,476 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tyo | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | Baja | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | Swordfish 13 | 67% | 52 |
| #4 | Ang | 65% | 17 |
| #5 | jord | 65% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | lenticular | 64% | 72 |
| #7 | Jbubz | 63% | 27 |
| #8 | Jimmy D Fried | 60% | 91 |
| #9 | Mo2 | 60% | 95 |
| #10 | bainz ┐( °ー ° )┌ | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jord | 12 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Mo2 | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | lenticular | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Baja | 5 | 0.0153 |
| #5 | Jimmy D Fried | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jord | 439 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | Jimmy D Fried | 318 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | Mo2 | 181 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Swordfish 13 | 173 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jbubz | 94 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | +3.84 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | Mo2 | +3.28 | 92 | 52 |
| #3 | Baja | +0.57 | 85 | 43 |
| #4 | lenticular | +0.22 | 70 | 39 |
| #5 | Jbubz | +0.06 | 78 | 56 |





