








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6384 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7206 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5522 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6087 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,859,461 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | 60% | 91 |
| #2 | Mo2 | 54% | 147 |
| #3 | lenticular | 53% | 205 |
| #4 | Jbubz | 52% | 106 |
| #5 | jord | 51% | 514 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ang | 50% | 64 |
| #8 | Swordfish 13 | 50% | 222 |
| #9 | Zfunk | 47% | 192 |
| #10 | KohZe | 43% | 90 |
| #11 | nink | 41% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jord | 29 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Swordfish 13 | 22 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | lenticular | 18 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Zfunk | 16 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Mo2 | 11 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jord | 1857 | 0.18 | 44 min |
| #2 | Zfunk | 664 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #3 | Swordfish 13 | 599 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #4 | Jbubz | 329 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | 279 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | +3.97 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Mo2 | +3.34 | 92 | 59 |
| #3 | Jbubz | +1.76 | 83 | 54 |
| #4 | lenticular | +1.19 | 69 | 40 |
| #5 | jord | +0.73 | 61 | 65 |





