








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1072 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2312 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1573 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1627 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,550,147 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | Ang | 55% | 73 |
| #3 | Jimmy D Fried | 51% | 209 |
| #4 | Swordfish 13 | 49% | 132 |
| #5 | jord | 48% | 332 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | KohZe | 46% | 68 |
| #8 | lenticular | 44% | 61 |
| #9 | Jbubz | 43% | 21 |
| #10 | nink | 40% | 25 |
| #11 | Kitten | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swordfish 13 | 18 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | jord | 17 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Jimmy D Fried | 17 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Zfunk | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Ang | 11 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jord | 1331 | 0.20 | 33 min |
| #2 | Jimmy D Fried | 705 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #3 | Zfunk | 539 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #4 | Swordfish 13 | 353 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | KohZe | 132 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | +5.83 | 87 | 68 |
| #2 | lenticular | +1.95 | 74 | 39 |
| #3 | Jbubz | +1.82 | 78 | 58 |
| #4 | KohZe | +1.80 | 73 | 60 |
| #5 | jord | +1.64 | 62 | 68 |





