








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10470 | 34% |
| Smokes | 7400 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7624 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5597 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,877,051 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | 65% | 110 |
| #2 | Mo2 | 55% | 132 |
| #3 | Ang | 54% | 82 |
| #4 | Sachburger | 53% | 57 |
| #5 | lenticular | 52% | 236 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Kitten | 51% | 47 |
| #10 | tyo | 48% | 332 |
| #11 | Zfunk | 46% | 282 |
| #12 | nink | 45% | 94 |
| #13 | KohZe | 43% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swordfish 13 | 36 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | lenticular | 29 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Jimmy D Fried | 27 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Zfunk | 25 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | tyo | 20 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmy D Fried | 1724 | 0.16 | 46 min |
| #2 | Zfunk | 905 | 0.15 | 25 min |
| #3 | Swordfish 13 | 878 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #4 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | 423 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #5 | Jbubz | 354 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | +4.39 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Sachburger | +3.64 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Mo2 | +3.22 | 92 | 55 |
| #4 | lenticular | +1.16 | 69 | 39 |
| #5 | KohZe | +0.84 | 70 | 60 |





