








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3836 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,561 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3596 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3234 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2630 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2101 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,079,787 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ang | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | Kitten | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | haru | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | Jbubz | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | Sachburger | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | jord | 46% | 282 |
| #9 | Swordfish 13 | 44% | 108 |
| #10 | KohZe | 44% | 173 |
| #11 | nink | 36% | 25 |
| #12 | lenticular | 34% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmy D Fried | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | jord | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | tyo | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | KohZe | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Swordfish 13 | 9 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jord | 1047 | 0.18 | 26 min |
| #2 | Jimmy D Fried | 631 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #3 | KohZe | 335 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | Swordfish 13 | 284 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | tyo | 182 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sachburger | +2.99 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | jord | +0.74 | 61 | 66 |
| #3 | Jbubz | +0.69 | 75 | 46 |
| #4 | haru | +0.65 | 46 | 56 |
| #5 | lenticular | +0.53 | 66 | 35 |





