








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2598 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3778 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4769 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4743 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,024,865 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | 64% | 72 |
| #2 | Jimmy D Fried | 53% | 205 |
| #3 | nink | 53% | 57 |
| #4 | jord | 52% | 236 |
| #5 | Mo2 | 51% | 505 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mo2 | 30 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Jbubz | 26 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | jord | 18 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Swordfish 13 | 8 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | Jimmy D Fried | 7 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jbubz | 1606 | 0.17 | 36 min |
| #2 | jord | 864 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #3 | Mo2 | 848 | 0.08 | 21 min |
| #4 | Jimmy D Fried | 692 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #5 | Petito | 276 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | +3.29 | 78 | 62 |
| #2 | Mo2 | +2.92 | 90 | 58 |
| #3 | Jbubz | +0.98 | 80 | 59 |
| #4 | lenticular | +0.28 | 67 | 40 |
| #5 | Zfunk | +0.19 | 71 | 59 |





