








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 288 | 22% |
| Smokes | 343 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 303 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 360 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $150,276 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | pxnk | 70% | 30 |
| #7 | xtios | 66% | 35 |
| #8 | BigMatt | 60% | 10 |
| #9 | blerg | 58% | 19 |
| #10 | 《《 QUaCKie 》》 | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pxnk | 120 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | blerg | 114 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #3 | Skittle | 95 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | xtios | 72 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ryzn | 35 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StewDatabase | +7.05 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | Skittle | +2.78 | 82 | 69 |
| #3 | xtios | +2.69 | 77 | 55 |
| #4 | spoder | +2.23 | 89 | 56 |
| #5 | Ryzn | +1.13 | 69 | 76 |





