








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,861 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2345 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2168 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1673 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1675 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $641,488 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unversed | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | xtios | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | Skittle | 68% | 38 |
| #4 | pxnk | 65% | 23 |
| #5 | brokeyy | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | VagueDark | 45% | 65 |
| #10 | TreeeZzz | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | Ku | 43% | 14 |
| #12 | Seppuku | 42% | 12 |
| #13 | HunchoP | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jet | 4 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Jok3r | 3 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | BigMatt | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | pxnk | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Ku | 2 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VagueDark | 267 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Skittle | 173 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | brokeyy | 110 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | pxnk | 99 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | BigMatt | 81 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skittle | +3.72 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | xtios | +3.01 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | pxnk | +1.65 | 86 | 71 |
| #4 | brokeyy | +1.54 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | HunchoP | +1.53 | 67 | 61 |





