








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 773 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1983 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1600 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1098 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1020 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1362 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,273 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryzn | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Skittle | 76% | 25 |
| #3 | pxnk | 75% | 32 |
| #4 | faet | 74% | 19 |
| #5 | spoder | 66% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | faet | 74% | 19 |
| #5 | spoder | 66% | 35 |
| #6 | BigMatt | 64% | 11 |
| #7 | blerg | 59% | 29 |
| #8 | тащерка | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тащерка | 5 | 0.0275 |
| #2 | pxnk | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | faet | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blerg | 175 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #2 | pxnk | 111 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Skittle | 90 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | spoder | 49 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ryzn | 42 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xtios | +3.98 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Skittle | +2.49 | 80 | 69 |
| #3 | spoder | +2.12 | 87 | 62 |
| #4 | blerg | +0.60 | 75 | 75 |
| #5 | faet | +0.47 | 83 | 23 |





