








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 194 matches | ||
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,677 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2952 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3411 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2838 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3476 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,819,681 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 303 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ku | 57 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | pxnk | 41 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | HunchoP | 30 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | Jok3r | 19 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | DJ Boggle | 18 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pxnk | 1200 | 0.26 | 32 min |
| #2 | DJ Boggle | 1039 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #3 | Jok3r | 647 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #4 | Ku | 472 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #5 | HunchoP | 408 | 0.12 | 7 min |





