








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1212 | 32% |
| Smokes | 789 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 727 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1041 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $135,236 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skittle | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | pxnk | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | xtios | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | spoder | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | Eniman | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | RsN | 55% | 11 |
| #7 | dEnZa | 52% | 23 |
| #8 | aaronsfury | 47% | 17 |
| #9 | 《《 QUaCKie 》》 | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | twitch.tv/djswang | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aaronsfury | 3 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | xtios | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | dEnZa | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Eniman | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | RsN | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dEnZa | 145 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #2 | aaronsfury | 114 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #3 | Eniman | 78 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | xtios | 72 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | pxnk | 57 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xtios | +3.12 | 78 | 57 |
| #2 | Eniman | +2.25 | 76 | 78 |
| #3 | dEnZa | +1.77 | 74 | 70 |
| #4 | Skittle | +1.25 | 76 | 63 |
| #5 | spoder | +1.10 | 89 | 59 |





