








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 739 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4937 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7834 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3947 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 6212 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5729 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $916,430 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1449 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schwartz "moses" peek | 55 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | Mike Hawkslong | 20 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | "mccoy" | 20 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | 2tone | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | WeaViE | 7 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeaViE | 392 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | schwartz "moses" peek | 211 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | 2tone | 185 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ Meza | 108 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mike Hawkslong | 97 | 0.04 | 2 min |





