








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 220 | 7% |
| Smokes | 555 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1284 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 986 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $969,827 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mike Hawkslong | 45% | 58 |
| #7 | "mccoy" | 41% | 85 |
| #8 | WeaViE | 40% | 96 |
| #9 | retroP | 37% | 27 |
| #10 | schwartz "moses" peek | 33% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpongeBob Thiccums Pants | 21 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | schwartz "moses" peek | 19 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | Mike Hawkslong | 9 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | "mccoy" | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | the wolf... | 8 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the wolf... | 266 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | WeaViE | 212 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | retroP | 139 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | schwartz "moses" peek | 118 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mike Hawkslong | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the wolf... | +3.85 | 68 | 66 |
| #2 | WeaViE | +1.46 | 49 | 62 |
| #3 | BigCaulk | +1.19 | 62 | 18 |
| #4 | Mike Hawkslong | +0.33 | 47 | 35 |
| #5 | schwartz "moses" peek | -0.03 | 71 | 43 |





