








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1110 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1353 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1131 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1420 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $518,761 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Happe | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | peeboy14 | 63% | 32 |
| #3 | Ace | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Clxtch | 53% | 89 |
| #5 | Rymaster | 51% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Rymaster | 51% | 49 |
| #6 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 48% | 69 |
| #7 | jizzy | 44% | 18 |
| #8 | Lax | 42% | 19 |
| #9 | Lance | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Clxtch | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Rymaster | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Happe | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | peeboy14 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 210 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | peeboy14 | 109 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Clxtch | 107 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | jizzy | 41 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lax | 37 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peeboy14 | +1.30 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | Lax | +0.92 | 66 | 54 |
| #3 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | +0.19 | 65 | 59 |
| #4 | Eatingpets | +0.14 | 65 | 55 |
| #5 | Rymaster | -0.10 | 29 | 27 |





