








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 315 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 160 matches | ||
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3257 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,980 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4391 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5145 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2611 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3833 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,250,636 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 319 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eatingpets | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | Clxtch | 60% | 55 |
| #3 | Rymaster | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 55% | 83 |
| #5 | nae | 52% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | steez | 36% | 22 |
| #11 | Daybreak | 36% | 33 |
| #12 | Cagey | 33% | 21 |
| #13 | goblins are real | 32% | 47 |
| #14 | sloppy bill on the pill | 29% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nae | 14 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | goblins are real | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | CraMdeN | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | sloppy bill on the pill | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 322 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | goblins are real | 253 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | holycow | 210 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | Cagey | 198 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #5 | CraMdeN | 147 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cagey | +0.92 | 64 | 72 |
| #2 | Daybreak | +0.71 | 59 | 53 |
| #3 | nae | +0.63 | 59 | 47 |
| #4 | holycow | +0.54 | 48 | 70 |
| #5 | Clxtch | +0.44 | 72 | 47 |





