








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2529 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1932 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2235 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1466 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2047 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $955,378 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clxtch | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Gearslayer360 | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 55% | 73 |
| #4 | ore- | 51% | 103 |
| #5 | Le Brown Jaymes | 50% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 55% | 73 |
| #4 | ore- | 51% | 103 |
| #5 | Le Brown Jaymes | 50% | 102 |
| #6 | Depressed Pulse | 48% | 54 |
| #7 | AHHHHHHHHHH | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ore- | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Le Brown Jaymes | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Depressed Pulse | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 367 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #2 | ore- | 260 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Gearslayer360 | 164 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #4 | Le Brown Jaymes | 141 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Depressed Pulse | 135 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fransisco | +1.55 | 75 | 52 |
| #2 | Le Brown Jaymes | +1.31 | 73 | 49 |
| #3 | Gearslayer360 | +1.23 | 67 | 58 |
| #4 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | -0.54 | 65 | 70 |
| #5 | Depressed Pulse | -0.54 | 54 | 56 |





