








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 472 matches | ||
| Faceit | 287 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11270 | 27% |
| Smokes | 11312 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8902 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 10315 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,926,712 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1551 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Omega Blurz | 70% | 63 |
| #2 | Chaj. | 70% | 109 |
| #3 | cheaster | 68% | 153 |
| #4 | Anything | 67% | 166 |
| #5 | Fynises | 65% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Mula Hwaka | 56% | 277 |
| #13 | gabel | 55% | 106 |
| #14 | vrtgx. | 51% | 91 |
| #15 | olliedum | 50% | 82 |
| #16 | TheHero™ | 49% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mococo Abyssgard | 31 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | cheaster | 24 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Mula Hwaka | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Fynises | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | gabel | 9 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mococo Abyssgard | 463 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | Mula Hwaka | 334 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #3 | TheHero™ | 307 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | vlr | 269 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | olliedum | 224 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4905 | +4.46 | 83 | 65 |
| #2 | Anything | +2.35 | 86 | 45 |
| #3 | Mococo Abyssgard | +1.19 | 72 | 62 |
| #4 | Yuki <3 | +1.06 | 52 | 69 |
| #5 | TheHero™ | +0.81 | 85 | 73 |





