








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 689 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1286 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 700 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 767 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $461,391 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | evanerfbdgcn | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | BigFella | 59% | 138 |
| #3 | Bruinsquad1 | 59% | 81 |
| #4 | gatoraderaccon | 58% | 57 |
| #5 | Faizfire123 | 53% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BigFella | 59% | 138 |
| #3 | Bruinsquad1 | 59% | 81 |
| #4 | gatoraderaccon | 58% | 57 |
| #5 | Faizfire123 | 53% | 57 |
| #6 | Kyo | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigFella | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | evanerfbdgcn | 8 | 0.0147 |
| #3 | Bruinsquad1 | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | gatoraderaccon | 7 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Kyo | 2 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bruinsquad1 | 168 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | BigFella | 125 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | gatoraderaccon | 77 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Faizfire123 | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | evanerfbdgcn | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigFella | +6.65 | 84 | 51 |
| #2 | Bruinsquad1 | -0.71 | 56 | 64 |
| #3 | Linkoo | -0.96 | 51 | 52 |
| #4 | Faizfire123 | -2.05 | 65 | 49 |
| #5 | Kyo | -2.72 | 47 | 32 |





