








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 880 | 31% |
| Smokes | 642 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 517 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 806 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $435,712 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 73% | 11 | ||
| #2 | klyE | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | YungBloodShitta24k | 53% | 19 |
| 50% | 20 | ||
| 49% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| 21 | 0.0460 | ||
| 16 | 0.0206 | ||
| 11 | 0.0066 | ||
| #4 | Jon | 10 | 0.0120 |
| 7 | 0.0219 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 242 | 0.14 | 6 min | ||
| 179 | 0.23 | 2 min | ||
| 174 | 0.38 | 1 min | ||
| 123 | 0.31 | 1 min | ||
| #5 | cur1ous | 71 | 0.13 | 2 min |





