








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 516 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 255 matches | ||
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 133 matches | ||
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,808 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6822 | 13% |
| Smokes | 13653 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 14549 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 15784 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,605,623 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2454 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | MidgetSpinner | 62% | 115 |
| #12 | t0d | 61% | 212 |
| #13 | Spammy | 59% | 124 |
| #14 | Riisi | 58% | 256 |
| #15 | JalluPena | 56% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karriSツ | 37 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | muussi | 25 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ✪Kalu | 21 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Tommux | 12 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ipsu | 11 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muussi | 6014 | 0.24 | 196 min |
| #2 | Esdeath | 2079 | 0.21 | 61 min |
| #3 | Tommux | 873 | 0.11 | 25 min |
| #4 | ✪Kalu | 627 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #5 | Lebiiis | 563 | 0.07 | 16 min |





