










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2039 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 392 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 159 matches | ||
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
18060 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4844 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2565 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 7327 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 4302 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,825,838 of utility $259 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6816 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Kalu | 77% | 95 |
| #2 | Lebiiis | 73% | 196 |
| #3 | Esdeath | 69% | 468 |
| #4 | Jarii | 68% | 690 |
| #5 | muussi | 65% | 628 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Tommux | 62% | 173 |
| #9 | ipsu | 61% | 162 |
| #10 | Nillkki | 61% | 245 |
| #11 | Spammy | 58% | 131 |
| #12 | Riisi | 57% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarii | 25 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | muussi | 12 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ipsu | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Spammy | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | ✪Kalu | 9 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muussi | 3084 | 0.26 | 103 min |
| #2 | Esdeath | 1754 | 0.19 | 52 min |
| #3 | Jarii | 678 | 0.05 | 20 min |
| #4 | Spammy | 550 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #5 | t0d | 488 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Kalu | +2.85 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | Esdeath | +2.82 | 78 | 73 |
| #3 | Jarii | +2.32 | 66 | 65 |
| #4 | ipsu | +2.04 | 72 | 60 |
| #5 | t0d | +1.19 | 73 | 73 |





