








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 85 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,139 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4596 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4962 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5880 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5701 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,431,296 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1029 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Kalu | 75% | 55 |
| #2 | ipsu | 68% | 44 |
| #3 | Jeb | 67% | 30 |
| #4 | saNppa™ | 67% | 39 |
| #5 | Esdeath | 67% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Nillkki | 61% | 84 |
| #12 | muussi | 60% | 376 |
| #13 | Riisi | 60% | 141 |
| #14 | Mauke | 56% | 34 |
| #15 | TUHOUUNO | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karriSツ | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Jarii | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | muussi | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Lebiiis | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Nillkki | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muussi | 1823 | 0.23 | 59 min |
| #2 | Esdeath | 703 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #3 | Jarii | 450 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #4 | t0d | 291 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | Riisi | 191 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esdeath | +2.44 | 76 | 76 |
| #2 | ✪Kalu | +2.14 | 74 | 71 |
| #3 | Jarii | +1.77 | 66 | 68 |
| #4 | Tommux | +1.26 | 78 | 76 |
| #5 | ipsu | +1.12 | 63 | 56 |





