








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4509 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3083 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3449 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4142 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3442 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,396,292 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 383 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Fransisco | 45% | 40 |
| #12 | NextGenMason | 42% | 24 |
| #13 | Le Brown Jaymes | 41% | 29 |
| #14 | Perplexed Rayn | 41% | 29 |
| #15 | Lanky_Ginger21 | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Depressed Pulse | 65 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | bacxn | 25 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Sparta | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Dizzy | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Gemu | 8 | 0.0113 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Depressed Pulse | 771 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | bacxn | 618 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | Sparta | 302 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 260 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #5 | Dizzy | 179 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AHHHHHHHHHH | +2.68 | 61 | 63 |
| #2 | Fransisco | +1.41 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | Le Brown Jaymes | +0.70 | 76 | 50 |
| #4 | NextGenMason | +0.33 | 61 | 50 |
| #5 | bacxn | +0.10 | 60 | 66 |





