








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 588 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7366 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6942 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4999 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5399 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,311,142 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2062 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AHHHHHHHHHH | 51% | 263 |
| #2 | Dizzy | 49% | 245 |
| #3 | Depressed Pulse | 46% | 539 |
| #4 | Sparta | 46% | 430 |
| #5 | Animal | 37% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Depressed Pulse | 129 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | AHHHHHHHHHH | 23 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Sparta | 19 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Dizzy | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Perplexed Rayn | 7 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Depressed Pulse | 1277 | 0.11 | 27 min |
| #2 | Sparta | 639 | 0.07 | 15 min |
| #3 | AHHHHHHHHHH | 517 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #4 | Dizzy | 490 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | Perplexed Rayn | 309 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AHHHHHHHHHH | +2.66 | 62 | 66 |
| #2 | Depressed Pulse | +0.48 | 63 | 56 |
| #3 | bacxn | +0.28 | 60 | 63 |
| #4 | Dizzy | +0.06 | 73 | 55 |
| #5 | Sparta | -0.82 | 50 | 59 |





