








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 675 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,031 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2775 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2250 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2706 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2300 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,272,032 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1864 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vanilluu Zoldyck | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | SeagullChokingOnAHotDog | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Gillionayre | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | IronChad | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Sparta | 52% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Depressed Pulse | 58 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | bacxn | 19 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | AHHHHHHHHHH | 14 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Sparta | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Perplexed Rayn | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Depressed Pulse | 662 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | bacxn | 543 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Sparta | 375 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | AHHHHHHHHHH | 201 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Perplexed Rayn | 164 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AHHHHHHHHHH | +2.65 | 60 | 66 |
| #2 | Depressed Pulse | +1.26 | 63 | 61 |
| #3 | IronChad | +0.88 | 48 | 65 |
| #4 | Dizzy | +0.33 | 74 | 56 |
| #5 | bacxn | -0.04 | 55 | 65 |





