








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 277 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 758 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1024 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 858 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1042 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,945 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nLg | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | folw1g- | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | vale | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | GrOgY | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | šikn | 69% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | ejg | 50% | 10 |
| #16 | PrometheuS | 50% | 12 |
| #17 | CHabiP NuRmakedomov | 50% | 20 |
| #18 | hλnnah | 48% | 23 |
| #19 | pentz1 | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nsnsnsns | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | KENNY | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | šikn | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | ejg | 1 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | folw1g- | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nsnsnsns | 227 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | BOMBARDiAN | 162 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | šikn | 71 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | CHabiP NuRmakedomov | 58 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | hλnnah | 55 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KENNY | +4.07 | 97 | 52 |
| #2 | n | +2.62 | 91 | 60 |
| #3 | GrOgY | +2.40 | 80 | 58 |
| #4 | ToXeb | +2.22 | 82 | 65 |
| #5 | BOMBARDiAN | +0.93 | 89 | 72 |





