








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 106 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 621 | 19% |
| Smokes | 819 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 954 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 918 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $379,953 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pIčUs | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | hλnnah | 71% | 31 |
| #3 | CHabiP NuRmakedomov | 67% | 24 |
| #4 | benq1aw | 63% | 30 |
| #5 | nsnsnsns | 62% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Catch me if u Can ! | 46% | 13 |
| #12 | riqo | 44% | 9 |
| #13 | vale | 44% | 27 |
| #14 | DICEY | 29% | 7 |
| #15 | n | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | šikn | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | benq1aw | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | pIčUs | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | šikn | 161 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | BOMBARDiAN | 156 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | nsnsnsns | 138 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | hλnnah | 113 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | CHabiP NuRmakedomov | 92 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KENNY | +2.56 | 94 | 58 |
| #2 | ToXeb | +1.38 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | hλnnah | +1.27 | 75 | 69 |
| #4 | BOMBARDiAN | +1.23 | 90 | 74 |
| #5 | PrometheuS | +1.21 | 81 | 76 |





