








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 106 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1226 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1267 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1633 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1411 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1316 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $336,439 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ejg | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | dyw | 67% | 24 |
| #3 | PrometheuS | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | nsnsnsns | 60% | 57 |
| #5 | pIčUs | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nsnsnsns | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | pIčUs | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | ejg | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | KENNY | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nsnsnsns | 228 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | BOMBARDiAN | 176 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | hλnnah | 133 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | PrometheuS | 79 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | benq1aw | 70 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KENNY | +5.03 | 96 | 49 |
| #2 | ToXeb | +2.37 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | BOMBARDiAN | +1.30 | 90 | 73 |
| #4 | PrometheuS | +1.06 | 72 | 73 |
| #5 | dyw | +0.83 | 75 | 65 |





