








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 274 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3840 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2775 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3308 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2636 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,008,421 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pIčUs | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | šikn | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | Dont Worry ૐ | 61% | 41 |
| #4 | PrometheuS | 58% | 76 |
| #5 | SaltyPatty | 57% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | KENNY | 52% | 44 |
| #12 | CHabiP NuRmakedomov | 52% | 67 |
| #13 | ejg | 51% | 43 |
| #14 | dyw | 50% | 70 |
| #15 | hλnnah | 50% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nsnsnsns | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | SaltyPatty | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | pIčUs | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | PrometheuS | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | dyw | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nsnsnsns | 604 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #2 | PrometheuS | 337 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | hλnnah | 297 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | CHabiP NuRmakedomov | 247 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | SaltyPatty | 223 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KENNY | +3.73 | 96 | 51 |
| #2 | Dont Worry ૐ | +2.41 | 85 | 59 |
| #3 | vale | +1.77 | 73 | 53 |
| #4 | ToXeb | +1.59 | 80 | 63 |
| #5 | BOMBARDiAN | +1.50 | 91 | 73 |





