








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 157 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2986 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2272 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2049 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1972 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $490,421 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | šikn | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | pIčUs | 65% | 48 |
| #3 | dyw | 62% | 37 |
| #4 | PrometheuS | 61% | 83 |
| #5 | KENNY | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | benq1aw | 57% | 30 |
| #8 | ToXeb | 55% | 49 |
| #9 | BOMBARDiAN | 55% | 132 |
| #10 | hλnnah | 54% | 87 |
| #11 | ejg | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pIčUs | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | PrometheuS | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | šikn | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOMBARDiAN | 354 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | PrometheuS | 337 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | hλnnah | 288 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | CHabiP NuRmakedomov | 204 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | šikn | 185 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KENNY | +4.40 | 98 | 50 |
| #2 | ToXeb | +1.66 | 81 | 70 |
| #3 | BOMBARDiAN | +1.30 | 90 | 75 |
| #4 | PrometheuS | +1.10 | 75 | 71 |
| #5 | nsnsnsns | +0.72 | 84 | 72 |





