








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 498 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3671 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13034 | 53% |
| Smokes | 4316 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 6611 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 735 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,400 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAKSULLY | 57% | 107 |
| #2 | Umulig | 56% | 107 |
| #3 | RaZz | 54% | 79 |
| #4 | weetdolphin | 54% | 281 |
| #5 | Relko | 54% | 207 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Each | 52% | 60 |
| #9 | Simplez! | 50% | 32 |
| #10 | Dyno Paps | 50% | 117 |
| #11 | Lange Luke Logan | 49% | 147 |
| #12 | Hansen | 48% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lange Luke Logan | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Umulig | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | kung fu kenny | 2 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | weetdolphin | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | RaZz | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weetdolphin | 1147 | 0.19 | 28 min |
| #2 | kung fu kenny | 565 | 0.06 | 14 min |
| #3 | Relko | 434 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Hansen | 427 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #5 | JAKSULLY | 363 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaZz | +3.25 | 66 | 75 |
| #2 | weetdolphin | +2.93 | 77 | 74 |
| #3 | kung fu kenny | +1.94 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | JAKSULLY | +1.69 | 74 | 68 |
| #5 | Hansen | +1.30 | 69 | 77 |





