








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 600 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 844 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,654 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4420 | 18% |
| Smokes | 8377 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 6583 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5274 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,830,240 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 404 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaZz | 59% | 59 |
| #2 | Viggo | 54% | 68 |
| #3 | malm | 54% | 65 |
| #4 | JAKSULLY | 53% | 127 |
| #5 | weetdolphin | 52% | 370 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Relko | 48% | 247 |
| #13 | Arne R Cool | 45% | 237 |
| #14 | Each | 44% | 86 |
| #15 | TT | 40% | 60 |
| #16 | Doomhax | 35% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kung fu kenny | 4 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | Dyno Paps | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | RaZz | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Hansen | 1 | 0.0001 |
| #5 | weetdolphin | 1 | 0.0001 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hansen | 1647 | 0.19 | 53 min |
| #2 | weetdolphin | 1461 | 0.18 | 38 min |
| #3 | cACAYA | 782 | 0.26 | 23 min |
| #4 | Dyno Paps | 780 | 0.09 | 21 min |
| #5 | kung fu kenny | 693 | 0.06 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaZz | +4.14 | 68 | 67 |
| #2 | weetdolphin | +3.43 | 75 | 77 |
| #3 | kung fu kenny | +2.09 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | JAKSULLY | +1.81 | 74 | 71 |
| #5 | Hansen | +1.71 | 66 | 81 |





