








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 693 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 925 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 136 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,485 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7414 | 22% |
| Smokes | 9134 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9220 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 7717 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,891,483 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | malm | 56% | 50 |
| #2 | Dynoo | 55% | 103 |
| #3 | Zubash | 53% | 129 |
| #4 | MacLeod | 52% | 48 |
| #5 | Doomhax | 52% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | kung fu kenny | 48% | 466 |
| #13 | Hansen | 48% | 448 |
| #14 | RaZz | 48% | 92 |
| #15 | Relko | 48% | 193 |
| #16 | Arne R Cool | 44% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kung fu kenny | 5 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | weetdolphin | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Umulig | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Hansen | 2 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | Zubash | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hansen | 1867 | 0.19 | 58 min |
| #2 | weetdolphin | 1511 | 0.18 | 38 min |
| #3 | kung fu kenny | 675 | 0.07 | 15 min |
| #4 | cACAYA | 654 | 0.26 | 20 min |
| #5 | Umulig | 550 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weetdolphin | +4.03 | 76 | 76 |
| #2 | RaZz | +3.57 | 66 | 68 |
| #3 | kung fu kenny | +2.45 | 76 | 66 |
| #4 | JAKSULLY | +1.82 | 71 | 73 |
| #5 | Hansen | +1.66 | 69 | 80 |





