








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 957 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 185 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15357 | 31% |
| Smokes | 15329 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 12900 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6738 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,631,374 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1682 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | malm | 62% | 58 |
| #2 | JAKSULLY | 55% | 231 |
| #3 | cACAYA | 54% | 281 |
| #4 | Lange Luke Logan | 52% | 370 |
| #5 | Relko | 52% | 400 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Umulig | 50% | 259 |
| #13 | Doomhax | 49% | 55 |
| #14 | Viggo | 49% | 68 |
| #15 | Arne R Cool | 48% | 102 |
| #16 | Simplez! | 46% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Relko | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | cACAYA | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Umulig | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | kung fu kenny | 2 | 0.0001 |
| #5 | JAKSULLY | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cACAYA | 1511 | 0.25 | 46 min |
| #2 | kung fu kenny | 999 | 0.07 | 23 min |
| #3 | Relko | 884 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #4 | JAKSULLY | 841 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #5 | Dyno Paps | 822 | 0.10 | 24 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weetdolphin | +3.25 | 76 | 75 |
| #2 | RaZz | +2.01 | 62 | 70 |
| #3 | kung fu kenny | +1.41 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | JAKSULLY | +1.32 | 72 | 70 |
| #5 | Hansen | +0.72 | 68 | 77 |





